Galactic News Network
EPSILON ERIDANI – FILED BY VIRTUE MACKENZIE
SANTIAGO STRIKES AGAIN!
The arch-criminal known only as SANTIAGO has struck again, this time on EPSILON ERIDANI where he reportedly ambushed and robbed a Navy convoy. The bounty on the elusive bandit’s head currently stands at TWENTY MILLION CREDITS, the largest bounty ever offered.
SKULLCRACKER MURCHISON DECLINES MATCH WITH MANMOUNTAIN BATES
The epic fight which Black Orpheus has been trying to arrange between the infamous gambler and hellraiser MANMOUNTAIN BATES and SKULLCRACKER MURCHISON, unofficial heavyweight champion of the Inner Frontier, has been called off. Murchison allegedly backed out after doing some research on the man said to be the largest human alive. Bates stands at eight feet seven inches and weighs a reputed 575 pounds, and is known for a ferocious and violent temper.
A MYSTERIOUS NEW VERSE
A mysterious new verse has recently been quoted as part of THE BALLAD OF BLACK ORPHEUS. The verse, said to be about journalist and documentary maker VIRTUE MACKENZIE differs so much from Orpheus’ previous stanza about the woman known as THE VIRGIN QUEEN that speculation has been spreading as to who is the actual author. The verse reads as follows: COME TO THE LAIR OF THE COLD VIRGIN QUEEN! / COME AND SEE SIGHTS THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN SEEN! / MONEY THAT’S PILED AS HIGH AS THE SKY, / AND A BANDIT QUEEN ANYTHING OTHER THAN SHY! While rumor has it that MacKenzie herself penned the verse, it creates the question of why she would want gossip about an apparent abundance of wealth spread.
THE ANGEL MOVES INTO TOWN
Reports indicate that the bounty hunter known as THE ANGEL has moved his base of operations out to the Inner Frontier. The most feared man alive, The Angel is known for activity on the Outer Frontier, far out on the Rim. His presence is likely to cause consternation amongst rival bounty hunters, known for their territoriality, but it seems unlikely that any will dare challenge him. Many are speculating just why The Angel has moved his base of operations halfway across the galaxy, and wonder if he has a lead on the legendary outlaw SANTIAGO.
FATHER WILLIAM: KILLING AND PREACHING
The hellfire and damnation preacher FATHER WILLIAM shot down a group of outlaws on GIRODUS II. After turning in their scalps for the reward (scalping being a practice he is known for), the controversial priest donated the money to the local church before spending two days spreading the gospel to the elephantine natives of the planet. When asked about the event, the bounty-hunting preacher simply said “Any world which plays host to a wanted killer is in need of salvation. My laser pistols bring the purifying fire of the Lord. The already damned will simply start their infernal sentences a little….. early.”